Sometimes God Answers Prayers REALLY Fast...and sometimes not...

It's that time of year again when I start doubting my homeschool abilities and consider putting my kids in "real" school. Woe is me. I can't teach. I'm tired of this. Help!

During the Divine Mercy Chaplet yesterday, this was my prayer intention. I need to talk to somebody about this for guidance. I'm not sure who to talk to about this. Who should I talk to about this? I'm once again torn. And on and on. FIVE MINUTES after the end of the Chaplet, one of my friends called me. Just the type of person who I needed at that time. She doesn't realize that the timing of her call was certainly "perfect." The timing often helps us to realize if it is God trying to tell us something. If her call had come at any other time of the day, I may have just dismissed it as just a friend returning a call. (I'd left a message the previous afternoon).

I told her what I was going through. She is also a homeschool mom. Her kids haven't always been homeschooled, so she can see both sides of the coin. She reminded me that I am not alone in my feelings. A lot of homeschool moms often doubt their capabilites as teachers and parents. Many feel "confused" about their role. I knew one mom a few years ago who gave up on homeschooling because she felt "unfulfilled" and "needed" to work, for herself.
I know that some moms don't have a choice. A lady in one of our homeschool groups was recently and unexpectedly widowed. That is completely out of her control, but now she has to work full-time to support her household and the kids are headed to public school next year. (Her 2nd grade son seems to be excited about it.)

My thoughts about the benefits of homeschooling haven't changed. They never do. I just do what my mom always told me not to do- compare myself to other people, other moms, other homeschool families. At times, this can be beneficial. However, when I start thinking, "Oh! Look at that family. They have it all together. Their children are brilliant and well-behaved. They are involved in so many things! They seem to get so much done in a day! Wow. We really don't cut it, do we?"

I have to remember that I'm not that mom. We aren't that family. Could I do things better? Certainly I could!!!

Well, I need to go feed the little people now. I will, hopefully, revisit this again soon.

THE ORIGINAL POINT OF THIS POINT, was the timing of my friend's call. Couldn't have been more perfect.

Holy Week 2009

I am a bit late on posting this, but there is just too much to say and I could never figure out all I want to say!! Still don't know!

If you've read more of this blog, you know that I attended Mary, Queen of the Holy Rosary on Good Friday last year. While sitting in that back pew last year, I NEVER would have figured that I'd be sitting near the front this year!!

It was an awesome week for me! Holy Thursday was amazing!!! To cut to the chase, I was completely awed by the True Presence of Christ that I just fell to the ground and could have stayed on my knees & face for days. However, I had some squirmy girls with me, so that wasn't an option. It was an experience that I will relive many times! I hope to make a special post about it someday.

On Friday afternoon, the girls and I went to the church to pray the Stations of the Cross & pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I am a "fan" of the Chaplet, so to be able to pray it in a group was wonderful! I had never prayed the Stations of the Cross in that way before. We had been reviewing the Stations during school each day & I was trying to learn. The kids caught on much quicker than I. However, we were all lost when it came to praying them in the group. There was standing, kneeling, singing, praying, etc. Maybe next year I'll have a better idea of what is going on!!

The Good Friday service was also very powerful. As I watched folks venerate the cross last year, I thought, "Ok. Well, that's different, but I can see how it could be very powerful."
This year, I participated in this. The part of the service that affected me most was during the veneration, but not of my direct participation. Once I was back in my pew, I knelt, reflected, & watched other people. Hey, I'm still new at this so I want to see how other people "do" this. I've learned a lot in the Mass by watching. There is a man who is always at Mass on Sundays. He sits in a wheelchair at the back. I see him wheeled up for communion every Sunday. But on Good Friday, he was not in the wheelchair. He was walking with assistance and forearm crutches. It brought me to tears! Venerating the cross was so important to him that he wasn't wheeled to the front this time.
Jesus had to carry His cross up a hill just to suffer and die. It probably wasn't an easy walk up the aisle for this man, but he wanted to show his affection and thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ. Wow. I hope that someday I can set that kind of example.

Easter Vigil was awesome! Yes, it was long, but worth it! If you've never been to Easter Vigil, you should make it a point to go next year!!! It was sad that the place wasn't totally packed.
Seeing the people who I'd been in RCIA with receive the sacraments transcends emotions that I can express in a mere blog.
The whole service was beautiful. The music. The message. The candles.
Ah, the candles. We had plastic candle holders to keep the wax from dribbling everywhere. At one point in the service, Rebekah's candle had tilted a little and her wax holder was melting! Oh my. I shook my head.
A little later in the service, as I was turned toward the back of the church for the baptism, Rebekah brings to my attention that I had also melted my candle holder while turned the other way! There's humility for you!!!

Easter Sunday was lovely, but after Vigil, it was nearly a let-down!! Just a very crowded Mass. The other events of Holy Week involved multiple priests & deacons. There was only one priest on Easter Sunday. Can't remember if there was a deacon at the service I attended or not.
It was very crowded. Because we were at church past 11:00 PM the night before, I decided that we shouldn't worry about getting there for the 7:45 Mass. We went to the 9:15.
I hate to refer to it as a let-down, but after all of the beauty and wonder of Vigil...well...that's just the way it is! More people should come to understand and appreciate the magnificence of that service, they wouldn't be afraid of the facts that it is late and long!!!

Perhaps I should have posted this closer to the actual time of events, but there is just too much I could say & it has been hard to sort through in my head! This is all I have to offer at this time.

Continue to enjoy, experience, appreciate the mysteries of this glorious Easter season!!

One Million Rosaries For Unborn Babies

I have a ton of things going around in my head to get out on the blog soon, but haven't decided where to start. SO- I'm going to start with a press release from another ministry. You don't need to register your email address, phone number, etc. Just let the ministry know that you will be praying! See info below...

Saint Michael the Archangel Organization
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 2nd, 2009
CONTACT: Patrick Benedict
PatrickBenedict@SaintMichaelTheArchangelOrganization.org

PRAYER EVENT FOR UNBORN BABIES GAINS SUPPORT
10,000+ Rosaries registered; '1,000,000' remains the goal for May 1 - 3

MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE (April 2nd, 2009) - Presently, more than 10,000 Rosaries are scheduled to be prayed as part of the three-day ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event[May 1st(Friday), May 2nd(Saturday), and May 3rd(Sunday), 2009]. Each participant will be praying for an end to the surgical and non-surgical killing of unborn human persons. The Saint Michael the Archangel Organization, coodinator of the prayer effort, has received much encouraging information, including:

* A sizable number of members from the Catholic Daughters of the Americas have registered to participate.
* A junior high youth group in Ohio will be praying 25 Rosaries; students from a school in Illinois will be praying 50 Rosaries; and, a CCD class from Georgia will be praying 30 Rosaries.
* Rosaries will be prayed within various nations, including Australia, Columbia, Mexico, the Philippines, Malaysia, Hungary, and India.
* A Family of 5 from Texas will be praying 45 Rosaries.
* More than one person has chosen to pray 9 or more Rosaries for the unborn babies.
* A prayer group in the United Kingdom will be praying 54 Rosaries.

" The unborn babies have no political power, no way to organize, and no vault of money to defend themselves with," stated Patrick Benedict, President of the Saint Michael the Archangel Organization. " Hundreds of millions, and perhaps billions, of these little babies have been killed worldwide within the last 40 or so years. For we here on earth, this is an incomprehensible horror that has no equal in history.

" These babies, created in the image and likeness of God, need the help of men, women, and children who are willing to combat the demonically-driven Culture of Death. The question is not: 'Do the unborn babies need our Rosaries?'; rather, the question millions of us need to answer is: 'Am I willing to pray the Rosary for the unborn babies?'

" The ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event is a great opportunity to unite in prayer with people throughout the world for these innocent unborn human persons. Right now, those who are not registered to participate in the prayer event far outnumber the people who are registered. Thankfully, there is still time to change that.

" When a person decides to pray his/her Rosary for this prayer effort, then he/she will be praying a Rosary that no one else can pray. Each person's Rosary is important," concluded Benedict.

Registration for the prayer event is easy and can be done quickly by going to www.SaintMichaelTheArchangelOrganization.org or by letting one's intention be known in writing and sending it to P.O. BOX 41257; Memphis, Tennessee 38174; U.S.A. A count of the number of Rosaries registered is being kept at the above-listed website.

In addition to participating, people are encouraged to promote the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event to their family members, fellow parishioners, at schools, etc. An "Information Page/Bulletin Insert", etc. is available at the above-listed website by clicking on the menu choice "Promoting the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event."

Frustrated by my "calling"--- what is a "calling" anyway?

"What's your 'calling'?" "Oh! That's your 'calling!'" "Oh, my. You missed your 'calling.'"
Have you heard these questions before? I have. Apparently, I have missed my calling to work as a camp director, or at an advertising agency, or as a professional singer, blah, blah, blah. My sister is the camp director, folks. Perhaps you have mistaken me for someone else in advertising. Yes, I like singing, but I don't want that life.

So what IS a "calling"? At this moment in time, my "calling" is to be a wife, mother, and homeschooling teacher. But is there something more? Maybe. Maybe not. It's fourth quarter...the time of the year when homeschooling parents start to get weary of the school year. I was chatting with some other moms last night and they were comparing progress in their text books. Were they going to finish by the "end" of the year? As for me, at this point every year, I doubt my capabilities and wonder if I'll continue next year. My philosophies on homeschooling haven't changed a bit. I still see the incredible value in it. I just wonder if I'm a "good enough" teacher. I start the year off strong, but things just slip away during the year. Looks at my planner. You'll see the trend. We hang in there with the basics- 3 Rs (which only 1 starts with an "R").

If I were to send the kids to school somewhere, I'd have to get a job! Yikes! I'm really not fond of that idea. Homeschooling is much more appealing at this time.

So my question is this: what do people really mean by your "calling"? It makes sense in terms of religious service. At one point in time, I felt "called" to be in full-time ministry. Obviously, that hasn't happened as far as a formal career goes. I didn't even go past an associates degree! I did work part-time as a church secretary- but that's not really what I thought I was "called" to do.

I am very frustrated right now with such things. If you have read any of this blog, you know that I am a new Catholic. I am having incredible revelations and experiences through this process! I sometimes feel like I could convert the whole world if I knew where to start! But I don't know where to start. When Friendship Bread was taking over my kitchen, I considered starting some sort of bread ministry, but didn't know where to start. Thankfully, my kitchen has recovered and that has passed. It might still be a valuable ministry, but those thoughts have passed by.

I want to serve God. I do.

I listen to Fr. John Corapi in the mornings on the radio. He has said many times that he believes that one of the highest callings is that of a mother. Yet, this seems so mundane at times. Also, I don't think I do a very good job of it. Folks outside of my house think that because my kids are mostly well behaved, I'm "doing something right." Ha! I don't really "do" anything. Seriously, folks. I'm quite lazy. How else do I have time to sit on facebook and blog! I'm neglecting other parts of my home and family. Clothes are in the washer in the moment, but aren't washing cause its too loud. I hope I remember to turn it on when I decide to go upstairs.

I now find myself rambling. *sigh*
Not even sure where I was going with this.
TTFN

New Blogging?

I am attempting to set up a blog with Wordpress (suggested by Fr. Noel). I'll post here if I do figure it out. Haven't succeeded yet.

During my walk last week...

I totally forgot about one of the amazing revelations that I had while walking uphill in the rain to Mass last week. As it is Holy Week and our minds are turned toward the Passion of Christ, I thought to myself, "If Jesus had to walk uphill carrying a very heavy cross after having been beaten, mocked, etc., just to DIE for us, then I really shouldn't be complaining at all!! Putting things in persepective can really get one thinking deeply!
These thoughts also gave me the courage to perservere to the end of my walk-- where we celebrated the sacrifice Jesus made for us!

My Trip to Mass Last Week

As the alarm was attempting to wake me up for Mass this morning, I wondered why it was so much "easier" to walk 6 miles in the rain to Mass than get up at 7:00 AM!
My little walk last week is more than just something for me to brag about. It was a very special, meaningful time for me. I hope that my story will be more than a brag story. I hope that my testimony here will inspire you in some way & that you will understand that I was truly blessed by this experience!

Recently, I've been participating in First Reconciliation Parent Classes, then First Communion Parent Classes at Church. More than once, Fr. Joe has emphasized that missing Mass is a grave matter! If you are sick, caring for someone, or the nearest Mass is 50 miles away, you are excused. Other than that, you'd better be there! (possible exaggeration on my part).

As soon as we got to the hotel in Raleigh last Friday, I grabbed the phone book to look for the nearest Catholic Church. My sister asked, "What are you doing?" I responded, "You know what I am doing!" I'd mentioned to her my intentions previously. I was going to go to Mass while on the trip. She rolled her eyes at me. In fact, she rolls her eyes at me just about anytime I mention anything about the Catholic Church.
I found the listing for the closest church, but couldn't find it on the map. I asked at the front desk if they directions to nearby churches, and they did.

My sister had told me that one of the ladies on the trip, a coordinator of some sort, was also Catholic, so I went to her room to express my desire to attend Mass. Her daughter looked at me as if I had dropped in from another planet when I mentioned it. (Her mom wasn't available at the time.) I was quite possibly on my own for this.

In Advent of this past year, I began praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet everyday at 3:00 PM. Real Life Radio plays it on the air everyday but Sunday, so I typically just sit by the radio with my rosary for ten minutes. On the band trip last week, obviously, I couldn't tune in to my beloved 1380 AM. HOWEVER, I had planned ahead and downloaded the Chaplet from their website to my MP3 player.
Because it was on my MP3 player, I didn't have to wait until exactly 3:00 to pray. So a little before 3, I turned on the Chaplet. While I was praying, Jesus revealed to me that I needed to go ahead and come to Mass, regardless of what anyone else thought/said. I finished praying around 3. According to the paper from the front desk, Mass @ St. Michael's Church started at 5:00 PM. The directions indicated that it was about 6 miles away. Now, I don't exercise...ever...but I figure that I walk about 3 mph. So it would only take me 2 hours to get there. How convenient! So I grabbed my coat and took off.

IT WAS NOT RAINING WHEN I LEFT THE HOTEL.

However, less than a mile away, it did start to rain. Just some sprinkles. No big deal. I had a hood. I was good to go. It was going to pass. Or not. At times, it did seem to stop...but then it would start again. Not raining hard, but raining. And raining. And raining. For the rest of the way, it continued to rain. Even light rain, when constant for 2 hours, can get one a little wet. No matter, by the time I realized that it was not stopping, I wasn't stopping.

I had my little MP3 player with me and thought that some music might help me along. Nice though, except that I dropped the thing once and it is very particular about movement. If it moves, it may pause itself. This is very annoying when walking!! So, I gave up on that after a few songs. During the first part of the walk, I enjoyed the scenery, the sounds, the atmosphere of my surroundings. It was nice to be outside for a walk. I got a real kick out of an Arby's sign. It was the type of sign you would see with an "H" indicating a hospital nearby. However, it was the Arby's hat! Ha! If I had been hungry for Arby's that would have been very helpful. Nevertheless, it was amusing.

Now, once my leg started hurting and I started to FEEL wet, my attitude changed a little. I began to ponder what I was doing and WHY I was doing it. "I'm going to Mass because Fr. Joe will not approve if he knew I had a way to Mass and didn't go." No...that wasn't it.

If you have read much of this blog at all, or if you have talked to me recently, you know that I am a new Catholic. One of the things that had been tricky for me to grasp is the True Presence. Fr. George McInnis spoke at the March Family Holy Hour about this topic. His passion for the Eucharist and the True Presence really impacted me.
As I was walking up a hill on the way to Mass in NC, I began to tell myself, "I am going to see Jesus!" Jesus! That's why I was walking. It wasn't about me. It wasn't about exercise. Not even about Fr. Joe "coming to get me." It was about Jesus! How exciting! Fr. McInnis mentioned that if more folks believed in the True Presence, they wouldn't leave the Church. It's JESUS, folks!!

At one point on the walk, near the place that the sidewalk disappeared and I was walking in mud puddles, I took hold of the rosary in my pocket and prayed the Rosary. What a blessing! I had uninterrupted time to pray the Rosary, ponder the True Presence and other aspects of my faith.

Near the end of my trek to the church, I started to become discouraged, figuring that I would never find it, but I kept going. I was already soaked!

I made it to the church in 1 hour & 45 minutes. Right on target. I was hoping to make it there 10-15 minutes before the Mass began.

I took that time to hang out in the bathroom for a little while, hoping to air dry just a little before going into the service. When I did go in, I found a spot in the back quarter of the sanctuary (which was very big!). I slid into a pew with my wet coat beside me. There are many details about the service I could share, but the most important was the emotion that I experienced. I was cold, tired,...well...wet. I felt a little out of place; slightly embarrassed, self-concious, etc. But when the Mass began, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. There were many moments during that hour when I wanted to cry for love of Jesus, the Eucharist, the Mass, etc. I was very glad to have been able to receive Jesus even though I was far from home. It was worth it! Every step.

Now, I am not superwoman. The thought of walking back 6 miles in the rain, starting out wet, did not appeal to me. I walked outside of the church to survey the situation. There was a minibus transporting people from the church, but you had to have called ahead. I broke down and cried as I walked back to the church. The priest was finishing his post-Mass greetings as I approached him. I'm not quite sure what he thought of this drown-rat crying about walking in the rain! He did help to find a parishioner to drive me back to the hotel. She was a mom with her kids in a minivan. :-) I pray that Sonja and her family will be richly blessed for taking time out of their evening to drive me back!

I was SO GLAD to have had extra shoes!! My poor little shoes still haven't recovered from the walk. :-( Glad new shoes were part of the band gig!!

Later, I talked with the Catholic lady from the band. She mentioned trying to find a Catholic Church. I said, "It's about 6 miles THAT way. About 1 hour 45 minutes on foot." Her response, "Maybe I can find Mass on TV in the morning." Oh well.

I wanted to tell her everything that Fr. Joe & Fr. McInnis had taught me recently. I want to tell EVERYONE!! How I wish I had learned all of these things a long time ago! Of course, God didn't choose to reveal these things to me until now. I am very thankful & very blessed.